It took me a while to put this post together. I wanted to make sure it was perfect - beyond perfect actually. I felt that the circumstances deserved it. Calling upon my personal writing heroes, I wrote and re-wrote this entry countless times in my head. But it wasn't perfect. And it won't be.
Dear friends of mine lost their youngest son in the recent school shooting in Newtown, CT. He was only 6 years old. In the immediate aftermath of that horrific event, I spent several days cycling through crying jags, then numbness, then rage and back again. I prayed and prayed for my friends and their older son, also a student at Sandy Hook Elementary, who survived. I sobbed for the people I love who were so cruelly affected, for the whole community of Newtown, for this entire country. I seethed at the hold that the NRA has on our politicians. I grieved for the collective well-being of a country in the grip of so much gun violence, and raged at the cowardice of our elected officials to stand up to the gun lobby.
Like many, many others, I felt profound disbelief, anger and dismay as the NRA recommended arming teachers and putting MORE guns into our schools and on our streets. I was dumbfounded. The idea is so egregiously preposterous that to any sane person reading this, I needn't list the reasons why.
I read all sorts of editorials, nodding my head in agreement with those who wrote that, contrary to what many in the right-wing were saying, this was EXACTLY the time to discuss gun violence in this country. I yelled at my television upon hearing pundits go on about how a crazy person determined to do violence will obtain a gun regardless of regulations. YES, I screamed, there will always be violence and we won't be able to prevent every madman from getting his or her hands on guns but shouldn't we - at the very least - make it more difficult for them to do so??!!
Today is December 31st. As I sit here thinking about my new year's resolutions (establish a regular meditation schedule, establish a regular writing schedule, drink less Mountain Dew, keep fresh cut flowers in my home, be more patient with myself and others), I'm also thinking about my hopes for this country in 2013 and beyond. I hope we become a country of greater empathy. I hope we start to embrace vulnerability. I hope we learn to value kindness and grace. I hope we stop killing each other.
Meanwhile, the world spins on.
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